Friday, March 18, 2011

What Came First the Woman or the Mother?

So we’re all familiar with the old adage ‘what came first the chicken or the egg?’ I don’t think I’ve ever thought of this question in human terms. Perhaps the analogies have always been implied but suffice it to say if it had, I missed it.

So, I believe women are by nature: caregivers, helpful, intuitive, decisive, organized, and detail-oriented and of course above all else - loving. God in His infinite wisdom has created us this way. It is who we are before we are anything else. Little girls can be seen ‘caring’ for their dolls, stuffed animals, even friends. Young girls focus on the details of growing up, become aware of boys and focus on becoming women. Teenage girls have agendas and ‘stuff’ they must organize, friendships they must navigate and maturing boys who take notice. From the time we are little girls to the time we are young adult women we think about the future, marriage, children, someone to love. It is engrained in our very being. Yet, we are all those qualities of a woman before we become mothers. Some never become mothers yet they have maternal instincts that are revealed in their friendships and relationships. The caregiver in all of us, the desire to emulate what we have been taught from our own mothers or significant women in our lives comes out regardless of childbirth.

But, the question is…when we shine in our ability to organize, decide, lead a situation, help someone, intuitively ‘do’ for someone, love…are we being maternal or just women?

A man’s first experiences with women are with their mothers and so all subsequent experience with women is gauged on that. Some men want to be ‘mothered’; some are opposed to being ‘mothered’. My point is this; I don’t think women want to ‘mother’ men. I think some women want to control their men and need to come to an understanding that trying to control anyone other than ourselves is futile.

What men need to understand is that when we exhibit the behaviors of a woman we shouldn’t be accused of trying to be their mother…we should be thanked for being a woman.