Friday, February 25, 2011


I was driving to work through the resevoir again is my usual quiet drive. I choose it over the busier highway for its serenity and closeness to nature. As I drove over the little causeway with water on both sides I came to the center where the road is uneven, and a great puddle had formed for it was a very rainey, grey day. I slowed and saw another vehicle approaching from the opposite direction but really thought little of it. As we both hit our respective puddles a great wall of water from the other vehicle's progress through the puddle hit my windshield, essentially blinding me!

I was shocked, did not expect that! Temporary blindness while driving a car...unsettling to say the least. I thanked my Father for not sending me careening into the resevoir, gathered my wits and continued on.

How many times have we been unexpectedly blinded...but in hindsight realize we could have 'seen' it coming? In retrospect, it isn't the first time I was blinded by a wall of water. Another time I was driving on the Jersey Turnpike in a horrible storm and a wall of water came from across the Jersey barrier propelled by an 18 wheeler. I saw it coming and still, the temporary blindness seemed unexpected at the time. So my question is this...if we are to have eyes to see and ears to hear...why don't we? We, at times, play on the edge of darkness, throw caution to the wind, go about our own willful way and we are surprized when life jumps up and thows us a curve ball all the way exclaiming, "I didn't know, didn't realize, didn't 'see' that coming". Perhaps, or perhaps we looked upon the huge puddle, observed the approaching car and chose not to put 2 and 2 together. Blinded or just running with blinders on? In our own little world of our own choosing.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

More of where I've been...

I had been a lukewarm, bench sitting, ‘pewsitter’ for a number of years…stuck in a tiny, quiet, legalistic church where the spirit rarely visited and was seldom spoke of. Earlier this year, due to circumstances out of my control regarding a close friend and sister in Christ, I and a few others left that church. Some saw it as a church split and so suddenly my church community of 9 years was ripped from my walk. And so, rather than spitting me out of His mouth, God saw to it that I was removed from my comfort zone, and it was painful and disconcerting, yet I drew near to Him. I continued to study and fellowship with those few who had left and prayed for something bigger, praying earnestly for the Holy Spirit to provide me a place to rest and grow. Since then God has continued to bring me situations, people, and places that have given me a clearer understanding of who He is and the direction He wants me to go. He has brought me to places I could never have imagined…as I sought His church…His people. And He continued to show me things that I needed to see…because my biggest problem wasn’t being stuck in a legalistic church, my biggest problem was me.

With His guidance and through those He has sent I have come to realize that I am fully acceptable and fully worthy. But to know that wasn’t enough…I’ve had to continue to be shown it through His love to get to a place within myself where I could accept it for myself.

Eventually God brought me here, to Victory Christian Church, where He continues to work on me. Here I have come not only to see the spirit moving but to expect it, embrace it and truly feel it within me. God continues to work on my imperfections and to reveal and remove those strongholds that have kept me from an abundant life in Him. I have not only come to understand, but I have come to BELIEVE that there is no affirmation from people, no missing validation from my past, no relationship that is going to satisfy me. I AM fully worthy and I BELIEVE I am acceptable… He is the bread of life but He is also the peanut butter and jelly for in Him I am fully satisfied.

It Surrounds Me

I drove through the reservoir on my way to work today, a bright sunny sub-zero of a temperature day.

As I crossed the tiny causeway that intersects the reservoir I observed the tiny bushes and small trees that lined the road. There was a fine, pure white frost thick on the branches making them look like something in a fairytale land and as I drove by, pure crystals of ice reflected the sun and sparkled like the brightest LED light you can imagine, and I thought....

....this, this might begin to approach how my Father's house will be. But my Father's house will be so much more than I or anyone can imagine. It's glory and beauty will be more than the most proclaimed artists can render, more than the brightest visionaries can foresee and more than the best technology can mock-up. I looked upon the beauty that God shared with me today and I slowed, and I smiled, and I said thank you.

I can not wait to put on the finest garment that He will clothe me in and bask in the beauty knowing that in His eyes I am part of what makes it beautiful!! A reflection of the Son, I will sparkle because I AM beautiful. ;-)