Thursday, August 5, 2010

Moving forward

First, let me say that yes, I have finally deleted the 'Sent' folder harboring my troubled emotions, wants and needs from an unhealthy relationship. I finally saw them for what they were, my troubled, repeated talking to the wind...asking for the answers that I already possessed. What closure, what a lifted weight.

I'm still sailing along on my post-cruise's kind of like the honeymoon phase I've been saying. It's interesting, usually it takes no time at all for the daily drugery and stress of work etc. to take it's toll and that relaxing feeling of vacation to rapidly fade.

I'm enjoying listening to Podcasts, audio downloads and music tracks from some of my favorite Christian ministries right now. There are the teachings of the Sheasby's, Max Lucado, Greg Laurie from Harvest Ministries, Joyce Meyer and Rick Warren, and of course those who sing about my very struggles, desires and exhistance i.e. Michael W. Smith, Natalie Grant and Matthew West among others. These people, these gifts from God are inspiring me to be all that I can be. I know, it sounds like a Nike commercial - but I mean it. All I can think about is what can I do? How can I use my voice, my talents and my resources for the glory of God and for the betterment of others?

I think that part of becoming who God wants me to be lies in the relationships I have with people. I am blessed with awesome friends, some long-standing, some very new...but I know that they are all in my life for very specific reasons and I am greatful to God for the gift that they are. They challenge me, encourage me, make me cry as I share their pain and their sorrow and make me laugh like a child. But it is how I treat and love those that I don't know that I am most interested in. It is stepping out from my comfort zone and availing myself to those who need a helping hand that I seek. Now I know that there is no shortage of people and situations that can use help...and so I pray that God will continue to transform me into the desciple that he has in mind, that he will break my heart for what breaks his and allow His love to flow through me and out to the direction of the need.