Wednesday, February 23, 2011

More of where I've been...

I had been a lukewarm, bench sitting, ‘pewsitter’ for a number of years…stuck in a tiny, quiet, legalistic church where the spirit rarely visited and was seldom spoke of. Earlier this year, due to circumstances out of my control regarding a close friend and sister in Christ, I and a few others left that church. Some saw it as a church split and so suddenly my church community of 9 years was ripped from my walk. And so, rather than spitting me out of His mouth, God saw to it that I was removed from my comfort zone, and it was painful and disconcerting, yet I drew near to Him. I continued to study and fellowship with those few who had left and prayed for something bigger, praying earnestly for the Holy Spirit to provide me a place to rest and grow. Since then God has continued to bring me situations, people, and places that have given me a clearer understanding of who He is and the direction He wants me to go. He has brought me to places I could never have imagined…as I sought His church…His people. And He continued to show me things that I needed to see…because my biggest problem wasn’t being stuck in a legalistic church, my biggest problem was me.

With His guidance and through those He has sent I have come to realize that I am fully acceptable and fully worthy. But to know that wasn’t enough…I’ve had to continue to be shown it through His love to get to a place within myself where I could accept it for myself.

Eventually God brought me here, to Victory Christian Church, where He continues to work on me. Here I have come not only to see the spirit moving but to expect it, embrace it and truly feel it within me. God continues to work on my imperfections and to reveal and remove those strongholds that have kept me from an abundant life in Him. I have not only come to understand, but I have come to BELIEVE that there is no affirmation from people, no missing validation from my past, no relationship that is going to satisfy me. I AM fully worthy and I BELIEVE I am acceptable… He is the bread of life but He is also the peanut butter and jelly for in Him I am fully satisfied.

It Surrounds Me

I drove through the reservoir on my way to work today, a bright sunny sub-zero of a temperature day.

As I crossed the tiny causeway that intersects the reservoir I observed the tiny bushes and small trees that lined the road. There was a fine, pure white frost thick on the branches making them look like something in a fairytale land and as I drove by, pure crystals of ice reflected the sun and sparkled like the brightest LED light you can imagine, and I thought....

....this, this might begin to approach how my Father's house will be. But my Father's house will be so much more than I or anyone can imagine. It's glory and beauty will be more than the most proclaimed artists can render, more than the brightest visionaries can foresee and more than the best technology can mock-up. I looked upon the beauty that God shared with me today and I slowed, and I smiled, and I said thank you.

I can not wait to put on the finest garment that He will clothe me in and bask in the beauty knowing that in His eyes I am part of what makes it beautiful!! A reflection of the Son, I will sparkle because I AM beautiful. ;-)