Friday, March 18, 2011

What Came First the Woman or the Mother?

So we’re all familiar with the old adage ‘what came first the chicken or the egg?’ I don’t think I’ve ever thought of this question in human terms. Perhaps the analogies have always been implied but suffice it to say if it had, I missed it.

So, I believe women are by nature: caregivers, helpful, intuitive, decisive, organized, and detail-oriented and of course above all else - loving. God in His infinite wisdom has created us this way. It is who we are before we are anything else. Little girls can be seen ‘caring’ for their dolls, stuffed animals, even friends. Young girls focus on the details of growing up, become aware of boys and focus on becoming women. Teenage girls have agendas and ‘stuff’ they must organize, friendships they must navigate and maturing boys who take notice. From the time we are little girls to the time we are young adult women we think about the future, marriage, children, someone to love. It is engrained in our very being. Yet, we are all those qualities of a woman before we become mothers. Some never become mothers yet they have maternal instincts that are revealed in their friendships and relationships. The caregiver in all of us, the desire to emulate what we have been taught from our own mothers or significant women in our lives comes out regardless of childbirth.

But, the question is…when we shine in our ability to organize, decide, lead a situation, help someone, intuitively ‘do’ for someone, love…are we being maternal or just women?

A man’s first experiences with women are with their mothers and so all subsequent experience with women is gauged on that. Some men want to be ‘mothered’; some are opposed to being ‘mothered’. My point is this; I don’t think women want to ‘mother’ men. I think some women want to control their men and need to come to an understanding that trying to control anyone other than ourselves is futile.

What men need to understand is that when we exhibit the behaviors of a woman we shouldn’t be accused of trying to be their mother…we should be thanked for being a woman.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Looking for Love

I am single, divorced, alone. I have been 'looking for love' for sometime. I have friends that tell me "don't go looking for love, it will come to you". But in my quiet time, a still small voice comes to me and says:
'how can you be looking for what you already possess?'

Beth Moore (my new favorite Christian author) tells us that we love because He loved us first and she profoundly points out that instead of saying "I love you God" - we should say "I love you too!" because when we feel the need to express our love to the Father it is because He's already 'been lovin' on us'. How awesome is that?

I have some incredible friends and friendships! Some long established and some brand new, but in every case if I'm spending time with them, it's because I love them...and I feel their love in return. My children, my family...they are sources for and recipents of my love. So, my friend is right, I should not go looking for love. But not because it will come to me, but rather because I already possess it. What satisfies me most, is loving people in the way that they most need it. A meal, a hug, a note, a smile, helping someone doesn't matter. As I pour out to others what my Savior has given to me, it is truly multiplied and that is how it comes back to me.
I am so blessed.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

The path I walk

The path I walk, or attempt to walk, is a narrow one. When I focus on the path that has been set before me it is well lit and straight, it is less traveled. When my eyes are averted and my attention wavers the path becomes rocky, slippery, sometimes tangled with weeds and other obstacles, it is broader and sometimes becomes crowded.

I know the path that has been set for fills me with joy and eternal pleasures, and promises of rest. When I am tired and unsure or at a crossroads I need only to ask for my Father which is the way of the good path and He will lead me, make known to me the way.

Today, I am in awe and thankful for those that my Father has allowed to cross my path. As I stay in His presence and ask to be used for His glory, to be a vessel that pours out to others - He brings me people of encouragement, people in need, people who are hurting and people who are lost. He brings me people from my past, those that I thought I'd lost to remind me of who I am. He brings me strangers who I can relate and empathize with who become part of my furture - and I am filled when I see all of them the way God wants me to see them and love them as He does. How is it that when we ask to be used and to give, our Father in turn fills us? His love endures forever and no good thing will He keep from us.

And so because His promises are abundant, because He is always right, because in Him there is unending hope and everlasting love I will continue to say "Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths" (Psalm 25:4)...and I welcome all to come with me, for in Him there is no darkness.